Perpetual Assistant Manager

Vending machine coffee went up a hundred won. In twelve years, that's the only thing that's risen.

• New EmployeeUm... should I cover that hundred won?
  Perpetual Assistant ManagerNo need. I've been saving up for that hundred won a long time.
• HR Team LeaderIf the Demon Lord hears that, it's going straight into your performance review.
  Perpetual Assistant ManagerIf it gets written down, it'll be the first thing in twelve years.

My ID lanyard has snapped for the third time. Only the name tag itself has stayed the same for twelve years.

• New EmployeeMine's still new, so it's stiff around my neck.
  Perpetual Assistant ManagerTakes about three years to break it in. No rush.
• HR Team LeaderYour ID photo is still from back when your horns were short.

My name wasn't on the promotion list again. Still, this window seat is mine for now.

• New EmployeeUm... I don't know what I should say.
  Perpetual Assistant ManagerYou don't have to say anything. That's best, actually.
• HR Team LeaderI submitted your paperwork myself. I couldn't even see where it got stuck.
  Perpetual Assistant ManagerNothing got stuck. There was just one field I never filled in.