Midwinter's come and gone. The nights shorten by two minutes a day now, and trying not to count them only makes me count harder.

• ViolenA vampire who begrudges two minutes. Leave it to your generation to find a whole new way to make this family a laughingstock.
  AlbernLooking ridiculous is something I've always had confidence in, great-aunt.
• OsmonIn my forty years, this is the first I've seen you count the midwinter days.
  AlbernOsmon, exactly when did you start keeping that forty-year list?